Yesterday was my one year blog-iversary. I realized it was coming up, but my initial reaction…well, it was anything but celebratory.
It went something like, “Who cares that I’ve been living in this corner of the internet for a year. I mean, I didn’t even post regularly that whole time. Geez, I was completely silent for three months this summer.”
I can stare at a pile of what I didn’t do all day. I didn’t finish my first NaNoWriMo attempt (there will be attempt number two starting this Friday). I didn’t finish the book after NaNoWriMo was over (shelved for an indefinite amount of time). Hell, I didn’t even get to my character outlines like I planned to today.
I expect so damn much of myself that I look past the attempt and straight on to the failure.
Which is pretty lame if you ask the rational side of my brain.
This has been a big year. Okay. Ginormous might be a better description. I may have failed to cross off a few things on my to do list along the way, but those are the tiny little pixels of my life.
The big picture is that I am MORE myself today than I was one year ago.
Last year, I was an eerily hollow version of myself. I had lost my excitement and enthusiasm – which is just as much my signature as anything I sign to a piece of paper.
And then on October 29th, I started to write.
It. Felt. Like. Pure. Joy.
Something that I had enjoyed doing from time to time turned into a lifeline.
I put down that depressing life vision of being a project manager forever and ever. (Thank goodness.) And I picked up the crazy idea that I could build my life around being a novelist.
Piece by piece, breath by breath, I turned that into reality.
It’s pretty amazing that a year later, I’m doing something that makes me love waking up for Monday mornings. But, the best part is the person who is waking up for those Monday mornings.
Because, let me tell you, she’s the bomb dot com.
So, thank you for reading (and from time to time saying “hey, I liked your blog post”). It may not have seemed like a very big deal to you, but every interaction gave me a little more courage to pursue this crazy dream.
And that’s definitely something to celebrate.