I’ve been so very quiet lately. No blog posts. Barely any social media. You might almost think that I swore off the internet (I didn’t).
So what’s up?
A little alien took up residence in my belly. Aka, I’m pregnant.
It happened some time in November, and at first, my silence was the whole twelve week clause. You know, that whole don’t tell anyone that you’re expecting before the twelve week mark in case something goes wrong.
I couldn’t figure out how to engage in the internet conversation without blurting out, I’M HAVING A BABY.
Obviously, I wouldn’t have done well as a Sydney Bristow super spy.
So, I shut up. I told my family and close friends, and I stayed the hell away from the internet microphone.
Then we passed the twelve week mark. My nausea started to ease up. I was less of a zombie. I stopped calling my baby a parasite and starting affectionately referring to him as my Peanut. (It’s a him, by the way.)
But, I stayed quiet.
Being pregnant…becoming a mama…it’s such a huge part of my life. Yet, I get hives thinking about posting my thoughts about it.
Well, the internet has a lot of a mama-bashing. Frankly, I don’t even want to get mixed up in that. I have mad respect for the mamas (and papas!) out there who are sharing a peek into their world of parenting. I can’t get enough of bloggers like And Kathleen and her recent posts about being a new parent.
I just recognize that I’m not one of those people. I don’t want to enter a conversation where I know that my opinions and choices are likely to have haters. Because oh my goodness, have you seen the internet lately when it comes to the topic of parenting? There are SO MANY haters.
It may seem like a cowardly move, but it’s self protection. I don’t have a thick skin, and I don’t really care to try and grow one by getting blistered on internet for my choices as a parent and developing calluses.
Besides avoiding the whole parenting technique conversation, I also value my Peanut’s privacy.
The internet became a thing while I was alive. I had the unique opportunity to dip my toes into the water with AOL instant messenger and one computer with internet access that used the landline for dial up (read: I couldn’t spend all day on it). I went to middle school before internet bullying was even a term, and I started college when Facebook was still only for students.
I grew into this world of widespread, 24/7 connectivity. I was able to learn the pitfalls on a still relatively small scale.
Peanut isn’t going to have the same luxury.
So, I value the little bits of privacy that I can offer him. I’m not planning on posting a bunch of pictures for public consumption, and I won’t be using this blog to tell stories about the funny things he says at the dinner table.
I want to give him the power to decide what he wants to share about himself and his life, and that decision is more than a few years away from now.
So, I’ve been quiet.
I’ve been trying to sort out what I do want to write about if I take one of the biggest pieces of my life out of the idea pot.
I promise I won’t be quiet forever. I have so many ideas still jumping around in there bumping into one another. This blog, my presence on the internet, is anything but over.
Quiet is not a permanent state. Just a temporary frame of mind.